One of the most difficult questions I regularly get asked is where I’m from. Depending on who asks the question, I either give them a shortened, sassy answer or the full cocktail recipe of my heritage. To be fully and completely transparent, I don’t even know the right answer but typically, this is how I reply:
To the random guy at the bar: I am American, from Detroit. Short and simple. That’s where I was born and I hold both American and Canadian passports proudly. I spit a few Eminem lyrics at him and walk away content.
To my classmates at school: I am Mediterranean (yes, ambiguity is what I aim to achieve). Greek and Turkish, hence the light eyes and fair skin. I say ‘christos anesti’ to literally everyone around Easter because that is the extent to which my Greek vocabulary consists of. Okay, maybe a few more from countless re-runs of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
To my family and friends: I am Lebanese and Palestinian. That is who I am and what I represent, fully and authentically. I have belly-dancing parties with my best friend Tori both in public at the club and in my bedroom when we’re both in pajamas, daydreaming about our futures. We notice that as the years go by we become more Middle Eastern by the minute and we’re increasingly appreciative of the values and traditions we’ve grown accustomed to.
So why do I filter my heritage? Why is the question “where are you from originally” so difficult to answer? This may be due to the stereotypes, contradictions, or myths associated with the culture. It might be because I’m lazy and don’t feel like explaining why I’m fair and blonde. It might be because I don’t want to challenge anyone to a debate. But it’s simply unfair to deny an identity to which I should stand firmly with.
I am proud of the Arabic language that I “fluently” speak. I am proud of the kousa and manakeesh that I crave. I am proud of the beautiful dance that unites us all at occasions, and I am proud of the traditions that have molded me into the individual that I am today. So yes, I am Middle Eastern, I am Mediterranean, and I am also American and Canadian.
With love,
Ella
In a Dalliance 